XXX Chats

If you ask him to an expensive restaurant for dinner, don’t expect him to pay for his half. Being a shy guy makes dating difficult, to say the least.

In years past, young gay men (and all youth in the LGBT community) suffered without a support system to guide them as they learned how to become adults.

Stop sending countless texts and “smiles” and “woofs” on hookup sites to young, complimenting them simply for being young and beautiful Carrie Fisher wisely said, “Youth and beauty are not accomplishments,” and she perfectly summed up the crisis that has engulfed our community’s next generation.

Endless texting, with the “What’s up” and “What do you like to do for fun” and “What are you into” questions, is no way to get to know a person.

Speaking requires you to contribute to the conversation.

To help you out, here are a few first date tips shy gay men can use to build confidence when and where it counts.

A lot of the anxiety shy men feel when they go on dates revolves around feeling like they’re being judged and feeling like they just aren’t going to measure up under their date’s scrutiny.Looking and feeling your best at all times by taking care of your grooming and your health is a good way to help neutralize these feelings, but an even better way to eliminate the need to glow under your date’s scrutiny is to remember he has to measure up to your standards, too.The second you start to evaluate your date two incredible things happen.Two guys interested in each other romantically can stumble over those initial bumps in the road to romance and even marriage. With so many definitions of what makes a relationship, with open debate on the importance of legalized marriage or whether or not to be monogamous, it can be overwhelming to even think of how to ask someone out on a simple, old-fashioned date. If you aren’t sure of your schedule, of course you have the right to take a day or two to get back to him. You are not living in a Tennessee Williams drama, a southern belle sitting on your porch, sipping tea and welcoming gentlemen callers to woo you into marriage. When once we treated them with indifference, we now threaten them with overindulgence, as it is so easy to endlessly compliment them for doing nothing other than taking a selfie.And despite the prevalence of so many ways to find sex online, there are still a lot of us who prefer the good ol’ dinner and a movie. If you want to go on a date with him, ask him out Welcome to the 21st Century, when straight women are empowered enough to ask men out. But if you turn him down, and then a week or two later you text him, “I’m not busy now! Sending a 21-year-old a “smile” on Adam4Adam or a “woof” on Scruff is nothing more than a fleeting thought, an effortless gesture; but those messages add up in their inboxes, and eventually those lovely young men think they somehow deserve the attention provided by the lists of men who apparently think they are special.There isn’t a whole lot you can do about the fact that you’re a shy guy.Sure, there are personal exercises and self-development journeys you can take to eventually build up your confident, outgoing nature, but none of those options are going to produce dramatic changes in time for your upcoming date.As a shy guy, you likely experience your share of problems with going out there and meeting other men, and you probably feel even greater stress when it comes time to actually ask those men out on a date.What’s more, the best-case scenario of asking a guy out, him saying yes and setting up an actual date simply leads to more apprehension as you worry about screwing up a potentially powerful and positive connection.In fact, is selfish to expect someone else to always take the risk. If you take the initiative to ask him out, have a plan of what you want to do It was your idea to ask, so you should actually have an idea of a place to go. He may not have been thinking about going out with you, and suddenly placing the responsibility on him to come up with a plan is stressful and rude. If you ask him and he declines, you can certainly try again (and you should, life is short), but it is his turn to ask you Perhaps he doesn’t want to, which is a bummer but life goes on. Compliments should be part of an actual conversation. An introductory phone conversation can tell you a lot about him, in just minutes.And telling him, “Here is my number, text me if you want to go out sometime” is so depressingly passive, it does not deserve him giving you a response. Asking him to go out, and then following it with the question “So where do you want to go? If you can’t think of someplace to go, it suggests that perhaps you are, sorry to say, boring. If you offer the vague, non-committal “Let’s go out sometime,” and he agrees, you have three more texting encounters to finally make a suggestion Asking someone to get together “sometime,” but never finding the time to do it, means you are always finding other activities you would rather do than go out with him on that date you suggested. Or, perhaps your first invitation was very casual, so ask a second time with a more specific suggestion. If he wants to pursue any sort of connection—on a date, as friends, whatever—he needs to meet you halfway. Sadly, there are people in this world who will keep sending you “What’s up” text messages only because they seek attention more than they seek affection. If you asked him out, he said yes, and you agreed on a day/night of the week, always have a plan set before you go to bed the night before Even if it is a quick message of “I get off at work around ____, I will text you then,” that is enough to let him know you remembered, and you respect the fact that he can’t wait around for you all day. Cell phone technology has ruined the experience of talking on the phone, with garbled voices and never finding a convenient moment for both persons to talk.

Comments Gay dating guidlines